I don’t know that this post has a thing to do with learning, but it has everything to do with life. In my head, those are not separate things, so I’ll share because all of this? I’m sharing this, even if it makes my heart ache in a place I didn’t even know existed. Maybe so you’ll think, “I’ve been there and there’s no need to hide it.” The struggle? It turns out it really IS real. Too real.
The past year and a half for me has been about loss. Giant losses. Plural. A grandpa. A school family I’d known and loved for ten years. Moving. My grandma, suddenly and unexpectedly. The home we raised our daughter in sold. Then, another school community and a dream, gone. Another grandma, my last grandparent, slipping away on hospice, gone in a heartbeat.
And then this past week, I almost lost my dad because of MS and I woke up each morning thinking that I’d never be able to speak to him again.
Then, at the end of this week, our little dog ran away. In the midst of it all, our little dog Beans shined a light on the past year for me, and on the support that I am surrounded by . Things had completely consumed my heart and when that happens? It clouds everything else. It’s like knowing the sun is there, but not being able to see it.
I still smile every day. Not because every day is awesome, but because there is something awesome in every day. I think I read that on a fortune cookie once. I still believe life is about giving back more than taking. I’ll keep working hard and keep sharing, even when it hurts. The glass is always half full. The best thing about life is that every single day is a new day. A new opportunity. 
Earlier this week, my dad came home from the hospital and when I talked to my mom on the phone, I heard him talking in the background. He proved them all wrong. Again.
Life? It’s not all just losses. There are some wins. We’re not here to keep score. We’re here to live, learn, and love in the midst of it all. And when it all gets to be too much? It is our connections with others, our faith, and our trust that will sustain us. We are never alone. And there are no trophies for doing it alone. I’ve never seen a cemetery with trophy shelves.
And if we try to hide our pain? It will only eat at our hearts. It will eat at our souls. It will chip away and leave us wondering what it all means. What is important to us? When the losses get so big they trump that? It’s when we know it’s time to reach out for help. Reach out and admit when you’re struggling, because that? It’s a win. Not the kind that you get a trophy for, but the kind that heals your heart.