As teachers we become masters of getting things finished. We know what that stop at the grocery store at 10 pm feels like, to pick up one more bottle of soap for the science experiment. We know what it’s like to prop our eyelids open to get papers graded and report cards completed. We know how it feels to feel sick, but go in anyway because it’s easier and because our kids need us. And we all have been there when we know a student is not getting what they need at home, and there is so little we can do to fix that. Teaching? It’s hard.
One of the hardest parts? Letting go. I remember that feeling. I was trained to control my classroom. To do it all. To keep kids in line. To organize desks and tell kids things. To deliver information. To turn pages in a book. But, I realized that all this time, I wasn’t really teaching. Not the way I should be. And as a result? Kids weren’t really learning. I was managing information and kids were getting bits and pieces to make answers. Surface level answers. I was in their way. I was always waiting to rescue them, even when they didn’t need to be rescued.
So, I stopped.
It opened the room. The discussions became theirs. The thoughts? They owned them. The questions? They were even better than mine. The learning? It was real. I started looking at products created in class and I questioned if what I was assessing was really what I wanted them to be learning. How many times did I focus on neatness, when the content was deep and amazing? What about when I stepped in with suggestions that squelched the connections they were building? I let go of the learning. I also let go of the idea that I knew everything I needed to know. I became a learner, too.
I think the day I finally got out of their way is the day I really started learning. It might even be the day I really started teaching.